Pengalaman itu guru terbaik.

Bismillahhirohmanirohim.

Alhamdulilah masih diberi kesempatan utk mencoret sesuatu disini.

Tahun baru ini dibuka dgn kisah duka.tarikh 8 januari 2012 would be the date that i would't be able to forget.

The date tht i've been admitted to the hospital for dengue fever. penyakit yg nampak mcm x serius tapi sebenanya boleh membawa maut n until now there is no medicine for it.dengue is no joke ok.

Betul2 tinggal sehari sahaja lg b4 my final exam utk semester 4. only god knows how i feel.macam2 dalam kepala otak. after all the hard work and so many sad things happen throughout the semester,suddenly...Allah had chosed me to go through this test..sebagai hambanya mmg kita perlu redha n sabar tapi bohonglah kalau cakap x sedih, terkilan, kecewa,takut n etc. Perkara paling takut is am i going to sit for semester 4 again next semester?? n whats going to happen to my CGPA. Am i going to fail all those papers? how am i going to do the exam in the hospital with this condition? How am i going to answer the questions if  nak pegang pen pun x mampu? My condition is too weak. Even the doctor said that i should have gone to the hospital earlier. I cried the whole day thinking about whats going to happen to me. Luckily i have my parents beside me. Sekarang baru nampak hikmah kenapa rumah x pernah jauh dari sekolah walaupun dari form 1 sampai uni duduk asrama..

From the clinic, the emergency room and until i being brought to the ward i couldn't stop crying. Dah x peduli org sekeliling. Diorang apa tau. dah la sakit, kepala serabut fikir nak exam, study x habis lagi. n at some point i feel like dying. Then a doctor came n ask why am i crying. Sebab bukannya sakit sampai berdarah2 ka patah tulang ka pun. I told him that I have to sit for my final exam the day after tomorrow n exam is everything to me. He told me "awak tau x denggi ni bukan benda main2, exam awak boleh ambik lagi dua 3 kali tapi nyawa awak ada sekali saja tau, dah x payah fikir pasal exam". ok tersentak sebentar. Mama pun cakap benda yg sama. org yg x laluinya xkan faham. Kawan2 rapat ja yang tahu macammana struggle nya aku bila study. Selama 3 bulan betungkus lumus pergi kelas siapkan assignment sampai lupa mkn minum n suddenly bila hampir sampai di garisan penamat......

"Semua ini kerja tuhan. Kena terima. ada sebab kenapa adik yg dipilih.adik kena banyak sabar".itu kata2 mama yg aku pegang.

Allah itu maha berkuasa dia yg menentukan segala2nya. ada hikmah why i'm being chosen dan dia xkan menguji diluar kemampuan hambanya. Aku besyukur sangat mama sentiasa ada kat sebelah. i cant imagine if she is not there.tekad dalam hati that i'm going to take the exam no matter what..at least i tried drpd berserah dan menyerah sahaja..

The next day both my best friends came to cheer me up.im so lucky to have them. Syazni Nadzirah, i wont forget how u help me with the last minute study & Azra Ain, thanks 4 the getah rambut!! n all the kata2 semangat. They spend about 7 hours at the hospital to calm me down n give me strength.Sampai habis waktu melawat.. i wont forget what both of u did. thanks girlss!!  my sister n her friend also came to visit me.she prepared for me sup ketam which people say are good for dengue patient. sangat terharuuu.pukul berapa la dia masak. n i know kemampuan dia memasak..she said she got the recipe from google. lepas tu dah la dia kena rush balik office sbb dia dtg tu time lunch n she still have time to cook n visit me. thanks kak! i wont forget what u did.

The first day of my exam finally came. Land law 2. A "killer paper" among Law studuents. every paper is a killer paper for me right now!.hari yg mmg seumur hidup pun xkan lupa. malam sebelum tu org lain sibuk buat last minute study dan aku hanya mampu menangis merenung tangan kanan yg tergantung drip. Asalnya drip tu di tangan kiri tapi xtau kenapa darah x henti2 keluar dari tube drip tuh. Tangan kiri dah tak boleh gerak langsung. Sakit sangat. Dah risau macammana nak bukak Land Code yang tebal tu esok? Nak harap tangan kanan saja mana sempat. Sebab satu tangan tulis satu tangan kena bukak sections dalam Land Code tu. Tiba2 nurse dtg n ckp drip tuh dah kena infection n kena tukar tangan kanan!!! kalau x tukar akan jadi lagi teruk. only god knows how i feel masatu..i explained to the nurse,esok saya ada exam n paper sy tuh memerlukan sy menulis tanpa henti selama 3jam n sy tulis guna tangn kanan!! x bole ka tukar esok ja. n jawapan plg sakit hati nurse tu ckp "alah spm pun kena menulis guna tangan jugak  dik". fine.Tapi hanya law student yg akan faham.bkn mau belagak ya but thats the fact! n she add "klo adik xnak tukar sy xde masalah tp kalau dokte tanye n jadi apa2 sy ckp patient yg refuse so sy x bertangungjawab"....hmmmm bukankah salah satu tugas nurse utk menenangkan pesakittt?? 

Finally the doktor came n change the drip to my right hand no matter how i resist.sekarang dua2 belah tangan x boleh guna. How am i going to sit for the exam tomorrow?? i cried buckets. i ask mama "kenapa lepas satu, satu benda jadi kat adik ma"? mama pun dah speechless.mama diam saja kali ni.yesterday she ask me to banyakan besabar n terima saja ujian allah n she said ada sbb kenapa tuhan pilih adik. But now she could't say anymore words n i see tears in her eyes that makes me want to cry even more..

I think i only sleep for 2 hours that night n jaga2 dah subuh n bila teringat nak jawap exam pg tu,hati terus luluh.but i kuatkan jugak semangat cause i chose to sit for the exam. i told mama i want to clean my self that morning. pelik pulak kalau amek exam x mandi walaupun sangat siksa nak mandi sbb drip tu x boleh nak sentuh,tangan pulak x boleh nak gerak banyak.n first time in my life i wore tracksuit n t-shirt for exam. haha. lepas siapkan diri pagi tuh mama kena rush balik rmh sbb little zarif (my cousin) xdak sapa nak jaga. i dont blame him cause what happen to me is unexpected. bila mama dah balik lagilah bertambah sedih..tambah2 bila lecturer yg ditugaskan utk dtg tu tanya tak ada orang teman ke? sebak terus. Im just sensitive lidatt. 

I asked him whether i can get any extra time sebab my hands x boleh gerak sangat. at first he said no but after i show him my right hand yang dah penuh dengan kesan lebam tu he agreed to give me extra 30minitus but i have to start early at 8.30 a.m.alhamdulilah syukur.

Before the exam stars that morning mcm biasa akn ade doktor dtg buat check up n perkara yg plg ditakuti ialah amik darah.walaupun sehari 4kali kena ambik darah tp still rasa sakit everytime jarum tu tetusuk dalam badan.maybe sebelum ni xpenah rasa sakit kena cucuk melainkan BCG masa dajah 6 dulu.that was years ago. sbb tu kot rasa sakit tu lebih sikit..org lain cool ja time amek darah.even ade bdk kecik pun ok ja. Tapi i badan mesti menggigil punya everytime nampak doktor jalan2 bwk jarum.macam nak ckp je kt doktor tu boleh x jng amek darah pagi ni sbb saya ada exam dah la tangan saya x boleh gerak tambah pulak lg satu sakit. tapi  rasa mcm boleh agak ape dokte tu nak jawab. so redha saja. but i did tried to asked the doctor if i can cabut the drip on my right hand  until i finished my exam. dia ckp x boleh sbb kalau air x masuk nanti lg lambat baik.aku buat muka kecewa n pasrah sambil cuba utk gerak2kan tangan kanan walaupun hakikatnya hanya jari saya yg boleh gerak.jam dah pukul 8.20am masa tu n maybe the doctor macam kesian tengok muka i, he decided to change the drip back to my left hand. Doktor semalam penipu ckp xboleh tukar sbb tangan kiri ada kuman!! But the problem is dia x boleh cucuk kt tempat yg sama n kena cari urat baru utk pasang drip tu. Almost seluruh tangan dia try cucuk utk cari urat.sakitnya hanya tuhan yang tahu.2 org nurse dtg to calm me down n hold me time doktor to tengah cari urat. i coud't even dare to see my left hand n my right hand still rasa kebas sbb drip tu baru ja pasang semalam n kesan lubang still jelas kelihatan.finally the doctor jumpa urat dekat lengan n decided to put the drip there. lagi la sakit.dulu x boleh gerak tangan n jari saja now sampai lengan x boleh gerak. i cried out loud menjerit sampai patient lain pun bangun n terjenguk2 to see what happened.. there was a makcik beside me yg jaga her daughter came to me n wipe my tears sebab both of my hands still tak boleh gerak.nak pegang tisu pun xmampu.dah hilang rasa malu time tuh.hanya rasa sakit n stress fikir how am i going to hold the pen and write.The exam will start less than 2 minutes in time n my hands still cannot move..

One of the nurse took me to the room where i will sit for my exam. Sempat dia pesan suruh sabar banyak2. I can only imagine that all my friends mesti dah ready dpn dewan exam at this time n i have to hold on somone else hand to enter the exam room. i entered the exam room still teresak2 lagi sampai lecturer yg akan jaga i tu suruh i amik mc ja. Malas dah nak explain kenapa i nak amik jugak exam tu. Time tu pulaklah drip tu mcm x function sngt sbb tube pasang dkt lengan.drip kan biasanya pasang atas pergelangan tangan. Darah meleleh2 la keluar sebab tube tu macam tersumbat.sakittt sangat sampai xtau nak gambarkan macammana dah.ya allah beratnya dugaanmu kali ini. sampai saat2 terakhir to sit for the exam pun ada lagi dugaan yg dtg. i told the lecturer  i dont want to repeat the paper. Thats why i chose to sit for the exam. He told me "one day if u came to this hospital, u will be smiling when u remember that u have experienced siting for an exam here" i know he said that just to cheer me up..smile la kalau lulus, kalau fail???

Dengn lafaz Bismilahhirohmanirohim, i opened the question paper n tried my best to write the answers dgn tangn yg still kebas2. tulisan toksah ckplah mcam cacing kena cincang pun ada.buat apa yg termampu saja. i know it was not the best, but i did the best what i can do in that condition.nak kencing pun tahan je.sedangkan if pakai drip tu, i akn pergi toilet plg kurang pun 5kali dalam 1 jam..Yang pernah kena denggi tahu lah macam mana..dan hanya law student yg akan faham what law paper is all about...its not about who can give the best answer but its about who can finished all the question and sempat write all the answers in the time given. x guna if u give the best answer pun tapi x sempat jawap semua soalan sbb marks will be given only to soalan yg dijawap n sebagus mana pun jawapan yg diberi if marks allocated for it is 10, 10 ja dan xkan lebih klo bagi 20 points pun...so if nak ke toilet mmg takkan sempat jawab..

Finally the time is up n i have to finished my last sentence.Dpt extra time pun mcm x dpt sbb 20min dah di habiskan dlm upacara memasang drip td..xpalah insyaalah ada hikmah menanti..

Petang tu my clasmates dtg melawat.mmg cari penyakitla kan nak bincang pasal paper td. Tp layan jelah at least i know ape jawapannya haha. Many of thanks to lydia, hani,fara,linda,nadzirah n haajar for coming to see me. It really means a lot to me girls...

The next day the doctor said my condition is getting better.Alhamdulilah. mana taknya sehari dkt 5 botol air drip tu n 3 botol besar air mineral kene telan..tapi darah still kena amek jugak..

Ptg tu i've being moved noermal ward. lepas 1 malam kat normal ward, ptg esoknya finally im being discharge. Alhamdulilah. 11 january 2012. another date to remember. tapi hati masih runsing sbb my next paper is on 13th. i have only 1 day to study n keadaan bdan masih lemah lagi. Acu ckp sbb banyak cell darah yg rosak and i need at least 2 weeks to fully recover.

Balik rumah niat nak study mmg kelaut lahh.hanya mampu terbaring saja.tangan penuh dengan kesan lebam.nak pgg notes sehelai pun x mampu. 4 hari di hospital bermakna 16 kali kena tusuk dgn jarum x temasuk yg dekat clinic n emergency room n the drip. mana lah x lebam..

Esoknya i insist to go back to UITM jugak sbb mmg x boleh study di rumah. tp mmg xlah nak balik kolej teratai sbb trauma n i believed the nyamuk that bite me came from that room..So i decided to stays in Nadzirah's room until the exam finished.mmg kena study secara high speed sbb yg dah study dulu2 tu bnyk yg dah hilang penangan hospital punya pasal..sedih mmg sedih but alhamdulilah i manage to sit for all the papers even though i know that was not the best answer that i can give.xpalah at least i've tried walaupun x berapa nak mampu. seriusly mmg jawab yg termampu saja sbb semangt utk exam dah lama hilang.since the day i've been admitted.usaha tu dah ada sekarang hanya allah yg berhak menentukannya. lulus semua pun dah besar rahmat.

Thanks to those who had texted me to give me strength n all the prays for me during my "hard" time in the hospital. to my class rep, ray, tq so much.u r the first person who text me tht morning b4 the exam.terharuuu n nadz, sorry x angkat call sbb da masuk exam room. hanya tuhan yg mampu membalas semuanya... 

Mungkin bagi setengah org masuk hospital sebab deman denggi tu perkara biasa lah but being admitted during exam weeks is not an easy thing to go through.like i said exam is like everything to me.xtaulah bagi org lain.bkn nak brag ka apa but exam is about my future.only those who close to me know what i mean. i know ramai lagi yg diuji dengan penyakit yang lebih berat but what i can say is, this is the most tough experience in my 21 years of life. i wrote it on my blog so that i can remember how i feel during those time in the future. walaupun pahit tp pengalaman itu adalah guru yg terbaik. siapa tahu di hadapan  banyak lagi dugaan dan ujian yg akn dtg n pada waktu itu mungkin akn lebih bersedia. sebagai hambanya semuanya harus dilalui dengan tabah.satu perkara yg pasti,


 " Allah tak akan membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya" 
(Al-baqarah,286) 


"Tetapi boleh jadi kamu tak menyukai sesuatu padahal itu baik bagimu,dan boleh jadi kamumenyukai sesuatu,padahal itu tidak baik bagimu.allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui"
 (Al-baqarah,216)

this is how the drip looks like n at many times the tube will turn red coz  of blood  going through it..ngeri woh!

JUST SHARING SOME INFOs HERE :

Simptom-simptom demam denggi ialah:

-         demam kuat secara mengejut.

-         demam berterusan

-         sakit teruk pada tulang-tulang, otot, sendi, mata

-         ruam atau bintik merah di kulit

-         pendarahan di bawah kulit, hidung serta gusi

-         pesakit juga akan mengalami sakit kepala

-         hilang selera makan

-         muntah-muntah dan sakit perut.

 Ia kemudian diikuti dengan denyutan nadi yang lemah, tekanan darah rendah (hipotensi), kulit menjadi dingin serta lembap dan terasa tidak selesa. Pesakit yang mengalami renjatan adalah dalam keadaan bahaya dan boleh mengancam nyawa jika rawatan bersesuaian tidak diberikan. Dalam sesetengan keadaan tertentu, jika rawatan tidak diberikan dengan segera pesakit mungkin akan meninggal dunia dalam tempoh 12 – 24 jam.

so do take care of ur health people.klo demam sikit2 pun trus g jumpa dokte. seriously dengue is no joke. bak kata dokte tuh nyawa hanya ada sekali..